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Wollongong Local Court · List 3 · 9:30am · You + Daniel 👀
COURTIN
Never walk alone again.
Scroll to walk in
Courtin
Membership is by appearance only.
The members only dating app for people who meet at court. Curated matches. Shared experiences. A verified appearance history.
Available on the App Store, Google Play, and by order of the Court.
The App
Romance, Within Conditions
Everything a modern defendant needs to find someone who has already read their facts sheet.
Same Day Matching
Same court, same day. Compatibility is measured on what matters: the list, the courtroom and mutual charges.
Verified Appearance History on every profile. Priors welcome.
Plead Your Case
Conversations that hold up. Every chat comes with a memorandum and a signed copy for your file.
Please do not swipe during proceedings. It is contempt, and also rude.
Curfew Aware Date Times
Dinner at 5. Home by 9. Courtin plans the evening around your conditions, not the other way round.
Curfew Mode cannot be disabled. We tried.
Exclusion Zone Aware Venues
Venues inside your bail conditions are quietly hidden, so the night never ends in a breach.
Op Shop Finder locations are approximate. The Louise is final sale.
COURTINWalk In Buddy
Daniel is 2 minutes awayMeeting point: the steps, 9:20am
On his way400 m
Collar: yesMonitor: chargedMum: notified
I'm on the steps
Buddies are matched by list, never by charge.
The Walk In Buddy
Never walk alone again. A verified member meets you on the steps and walks you in.
Approach the Bench responsibly. Please do not approach the actual bench.
The Members
Verified Appearance History
3 members so far. 1 match, 7 declines and an empty chair.
Matched · List 3
Chloe, 34
Gold tooth (real)
Pilates, natural wine, adjourned. Turn ons: a lenient magistrate.
Looking for: my person, or a co accused.
Matched · List 3
Daniel, 38
Lives at Mum's
LOVE and HATE across the knuckles. Open to both. Priors: Several. Regrets: None.
Character reference, in full: "He tries."
Declined · 7
Iain, 46
Facilities Management (title self assigned)
Spiritually 17. Legally 46. 212 souvenir spoons; places visited, 0.
Search radius widened to the Earth. Still no one.
Episode 3
Cast by Frankie ÜberPussy
Your Member Here
In development
The next member is cast by the woman who thought of all this.
Auditions are by appearance only.
The Films
Now Showing
The Music
Original Recordings
Courtin' (Battle of List 3)
Chloe and Daniel · 3 rounds and a plea deal
0:00
Courtin'! Courtin'! Never walk alone!
Same court, same day, same ankle monitor tone
Courtin'! Courtin'! Plead your case, my love
List 3, Court 4, fits me like a glove (forensic)
Crate Expectations (Unreleased Vinnie's Pressing Hocked for Securing Counsel)
Iain · a 1996 four track demo, recorded Tuesday
0:00
Crate expectations, I've got crate expectations
I'm not broke, I'm curating, it's a lifestyle, it's a choice
Crate expectations, at the end of my rainbow
There's a pot of Centrelink debt, and nobody listens properly anymore
Apply
Bring Your Antecedents
Applications are reviewed by appearance. Nothing you type here leaves your phone.
Your application has been adjourned.
Next mention: to be fixed. Bring a collar.
Correspondence: courtinapp4neva@gmail.com
Press
As Seen in Court
"The most romantic thing to happen in Courtroom 4 since the duty solicitor's lunch break."
"Finally, an app that respects my conditions."
"4 stars. Would appear again."
"We asked Courtin for comment. Courtin declined, then declined Iain."
Every outlet above is invented. So are the quotes.
Press Kit
The emblem, the link card, 4 stills and the boilerplate. Courtin is the members only dating app for people who meet at court. Membership is by appearance only.
Legal
The Small Print
- Courtin is not affiliated with any court, tribunal or registry (unfortunately).
- Bail not included. Results may vary depending on parole conditions.
- Please do not swipe during proceedings. It is contempt, and also rude.
- Priors welcome. Character references available on request.
- Character references are not verified. Mums are presumed truthful.
- Curfew Mode cannot be disabled. We tried.
- Priors are non transferable. Some conditions apply. All conditions apply.
- Courtin is not responsible for any co accused you may meet at dinner.
- Courtin does not condone crime. Courtin condones chemistry.
- Australian courts do not use gavels. Courtin does.
- No onions were harmed.
Courtin is a parody. Everyone in it is fictional and every face is AI made; any resemblance to a real person is a coincidence. No court is involved and no data is collected.
Members Only
The Dashboard and the Writers' Room
Followers, spend and the next deplorable, pitched and declined in one place.
Opening soon