COURTIN

Never walk alone again.

Sideload It From TheJailbroken App Store Get It OnBail Play Available ForNokia (Brick Edition) Seized From TheWindows Phone Store

Scroll to walk in

Courtin

Membership is by appearance only.

The members only dating app for people who meet at court. Curated matches. Shared experiences. A verified appearance history.

Open the App Apply

Sideload It From TheJailbroken App Store Get It OnBail Play Available ForNokia (Brick Edition) Seized From TheWindows Phone Store

Available on Jailbroken App Stores only for Nokia or Windows Phones and Android (v4 Max) when Paired with an Australia Post Prepaid SIM Vetted by Corrections Bureaucrats

The App

Romance, Within Conditions

Everything a modern defendant needs to find someone who has already read their facts sheet.

Monday 19 October

9:12

COURTINnow

Court List Update

2 compatible matters in Courtroom 4.

COURTINnow

Wollongong Local Court

List 3 · 9:30am · You + Daniel

Court List Alerts

Real time court list alerts, delivered straight to your phone.

Wollongong Local Court · List 3 · 9:30am · You + Daniel

Same Day Matching

Same court, same day. Compatibility is measured on what matters: the list, the courtroom and mutual charges.

Verified Appearance History on every profile. Priors welcome.

Plead Your Case

Conversations that hold up. Every chat comes with a memorandum and a signed copy for your file.

Please do not swipe during proceedings. It is contempt, and also rude.

Plea_Deal_FINAL.pdf1 page · signed

Memorandum of Plea

Chloe and Daniel · List 3 · Court 4

1. Dinner for 2, 5:00pm sharp
2. Home by 9:00pm, as per curfew
3. Hand holding, within conditions
4. No co accused at the table
5. Muesli bar shared, half each

Chloe

Daniel

Page 1 of 1

Curfew Aware Date Times

Dinner at 5. Home by 9. Courtin plans the evening around your conditions, not the other way round.

Curfew Mode cannot be disabled. We tried.

Exclusion Zone Aware Venues

Venues inside your bail conditions are quietly hidden, so the night never ends in a breach.

Op Shop Finder locations are approximate. The Louise is final sale.

9:14●●● ▮

COURTIN

Walk In Buddy

Daniel is 2 minutes awayMeeting point: the steps, 9:20am

On his way400 m

Collar: yesMonitor: chargedMum: notified

I'm on the steps

Buddies are matched by list, never by charge.

The Walk In Buddy

Never walk alone again. A verified member meets you on the steps and walks you in.

Approach the Bench responsibly. Please do not approach the actual bench.

Open the App

Apply

Bring Your Antecedents

Applications are reviewed by appearance. Nothing you type here leaves your phone.

The Members

Verified Appearance History

3 members so far. 1 match, 7 declines and an empty chair.

Matched · List 3

Chloe, 34

Gold tooth (real)

Pilates, natural wine, adjourned. Turn ons: a lenient magistrate.

Looking for: my person, or a co accused.

Matched · List 3

Daniel, 38

Lives at Mum's

LOVE and HATE across the knuckles. Open to both. Priors: Several. Regrets: None.

Character reference, in full: "He tries."

Declined · 7

Iain, 46

Facilities Management (title self assigned)

Spiritually 17. Legally 46. 212 souvenir spoons; places visited, 0.

Search radius widened to the Earth. Still no one.

Episode 3

Cast by Frankie ÜberPussy

Your Member Here

In development

The next member is cast by the woman who thought of all this.

Auditions are by appearance only.

Audition Pending

In Action

Caught On Camera

Real footage of the app being used responsibly. Mostly.

It's a Match

Declined, Again

Court List Alert

Courtin Gold

The Films

Now Showing

The Music

Original Recordings

Songs From The Dock

Courtin · 2 Songs

Courtin' (Battle of List 3)

Chloe and Daniel · 3 rounds and a plea deal

4:17
Crate Expectations (Unreleased Vinnie's Pressing Hocked for Securing Counsel)

Iain · a 1996 4 track demo, recorded Tuesday

4:18

Up NextCourtin' (Battle of List 3)

0:00

4:17

Press

As Seen in Court

"The most romantic thing to happen in Courtroom 4 since the duty solicitor's lunch break."

The Daily Adjournment

"Finally, an app that respects my conditions."

Bail & Board Monthly

"4 stars. Would appear again."

Remand Weekly

"We asked Courtin for comment. Courtin declined, then declined Iain."

The Illawarra Antecedent

Every outlet above is invented. So are the quotes.

Press Kit

The emblem, the link card, 4 stills and the boilerplate. Courtin is the members only dating app for people who meet at court. Membership is by appearance only.

Download the Press Kit

Legal

The Small Print

Bail Undertaking · ReverseForm CRT 3 · Courtin Pty Ltd (In Formation)

Conditions of Membership

Courtin is not affiliated with any court, tribunal or registry (unfortunately).
Bail not included. Results may vary depending on parole conditions.
Please do not swipe during proceedings. It is contempt, and also rude.
Priors welcome. Character references available on request.
Character references are not verified. Mums are presumed truthful.
Curfew Mode cannot be disabled. We tried.
Priors are non transferable. Some conditions apply. All conditions apply.
Courtin is not responsible for any co accused you may meet at dinner.
Courtin does not condone crime. Courtin condones chemistry.
Australian courts do not use gavels. Courtin does.
Matches are made on mutual charges. Mutual feelings are a bonus.
Mum may act as character referee. 2 words is plenty.
The Walk In Buddy walks you in. The Walk In Buddy does not walk you out.
The Bail Map is a guide only. Your conditions win. They usually do.
Dates end at 9:00pm sharp, or earlier if your conditions say so.
Reporting days are synced. Romance fits around Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
The Apply form is reviewed by appearance and adjourned without reasons.
Courtin Gold is non refundable. It is also not gold.
A match is not legal advice, however confident they sound.
Courtin may vary these conditions without notice, which will feel familiar.
Governing law: the Court of Public Opinion, which sits daily and takes no submissions.
If any condition is unenforceable, the rest remain in force, like your other conditions.
No onions were harmed.

Signed:Applicant

Courtin is a parody. Everyone in it is fictional and every face is AI made; any resemblance to a real person is a coincidence. No court is involved and no data is collected.

Members Only

The Dashboard and the Writers' Room

Followers, spend and the next deplorable, pitched and declined in one place.

Opening Soon